1. An open space to talk
Spend time with your child to explain what has happened and to acknowledge their loss. Try to use clear and simple language to avoid confusion. Adults may need to help a child to understand the concept of death and what it means depending on their age and personal understanding. Having an honest and open conversation can help your child to make sense of how they are feeling. Organisations such as Child Bereavement UK, Barnardo's and Young Minds also offer support around age-appropriate ways to talk about death and grief.
2. A space to express
Grief, death and loss can be a difficult concept for a child to understand, more so if this is the first time they have experienced a loss. Each person may grieve differently, feelings of sadness, confusion, anger or worry are all very common. Offer a space for your child to talk through their feelings, worries or any questions they may have. Reassure and remind your child that it's both normal and ok to feel different emotions and that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to feel.
3. Provide stability and routine
Losing a loved one can be a confusing and upsetting time for both adults and children. During the days, weeks or months after a loss, your child’s daily life and usual routines may change significantly which may add to any feelings of overwhelm. During this time, it can be helpful to focus on ways that you may be able to provide a sense of security and stability. For example, having regular times for meals, going to sleep and waking up. Creating time for hobbies, seeing friends and schoolwork can all help to bring a stronger sense of routine.
4. Remembering their loved one
Losing a loved one can be deeply upsetting for children and they may feel a sense of worry about losing their memories or connection with their loved one. Create a space for your child to remember their loved one and to continue their connection. Here are some examples of activities to help with honouring the memory of a loved one:
• Create a memory box
• Light a candle
• Let off balloons
• Write a letter
• Visit a special place to remember their loved one
• Plant a flower or a tree
5. Encourage quality time and space for self-care
Coping with grief can be emotionally challenging and exhausting. It is important for everyone, adults and young people to have a space for self-care. Self-care can help us to feel a sense of comfort during difficult moments and can range from anything from hobbies and exercise to watching a favourite movie or writing down how we feel. Children may feel worried about doing the things that usually bring them joy and happiness. Encourage your child to focus on activities that lift their mood and that help them to feel better.
Helping children to navigate grief can be incredibly upsetting and often requires time, patience and honesty. By creating a safe space for them to express their emotions, worries or concerns you can help to support them during their healing journey. Supporting a young person can be overwhelming, so allow a space for your own grief too.
