Sexuality and Mental Health

Sexuality and mental health are strongly linked. And sadly, many still feel the need to hide their sexuality for a variety of reasons. According to Stonewall, more than a third of LGBT staff (35%) have hidden that they are LGBTQIA+ at work for fear of discrimination. Given around 64% have experienced violence and/or abuse due to their sexuality, it’s sadly no surprise many feel unsafe to express themselves.

Whether you are in the LGBTQIA+ community or know colleagues who are, it’s important to understand how sexuality affects mental health. Feelings may be internalised and can manifest in their professional and personal lives through poor mental and physical health.

What is sexuality?

Sexuality is used to describe the attraction we have to others. They could be of the same or different sex to yours. Many different types of sexualities exist, all of which are valid. Sadly, due to sexuality stigma, many suffer in silence and may experience discrimination – even from loved ones. Naturally, this silence is bound to have a negative effect on one’s mental health.

Sexuality and mental health – how are they linked? 

Someone’s sexuality directly affects their mental health and outlook on life. In fact, LGBTQIA+ individuals are more likely to develop mental health issues than someone who identifies as heterosexual (straight).

When you’re surrounded by predominantly heterosexual relationships, it’s sadly common to feel like an ‘outsider’. Sexuality can also link to our mental health by making us feel:

• Fearful (from prejudice, being outside, publicly displaying affection or expressing oneself)

• Angry and irritable due to bottled-up feelings

• Withdrawn

• Isolated

And according to Mental Health UK - members of the LGBTQIA+ are also more likely to go through the following experiences as a result of being withdrawn or feeling unaccepted in some capacity:

• Substance abuse

• Body dysmorphia

• Eating disorders

How to support your mental health as someone LGBTQIA+

If you recognise your mental health is worse for wear due to your sexuality, here are some ways you can support yourself to ease internalised feelings and symptoms of poor wellbeing.

1. Find a safe space

It’s important to surround yourself with people and places where others are going through (or have been through) a similar experience. It will be a lot easier to open up about how you really feel, as well as gain insight into how others have navigated their mental health and sexuality.

2. Speak to people you trust

Whether it’s a friend, family member or a qualified counsellor, having someone you can truly confide in can be both cathartic and beneficial for getting your feelings out there. It can help to vocalise how you really feel as a way to work through difficult emotions.

3. Practice self-compassion

Having a different sexuality to others is completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. When you feel like you’re alone or berating yourself for having these feelings, it’s worth practicing self-compassion in these moments. This can be as simple as reframing negative self-talk into affirming ones:

• “No one will ever accept me” to “The right people will appreciate me for who I am”

• “I’m ashamed of who I am” to “Being myself has freed me in so many ways”

• “My family don’t love me” to “My family may have been brought up with archaic views on sexuality. It’s not their fault they’re finding it challenging to accept me”

4. Set healthy boundaries

If there are individuals in your life who aren’t accepting of your sexuality, then you need to give yourself time and permission to put them at arm’s length. This can be challenging if they’re close friends or family, but if they’re outwardly unaccepting of a fundamental aspect of your life, it can be truly detrimental to your mental health.

How to support your LGBTQIA+ colleagues with their mental health

Besides encouraging open communication in the workplace for all kinds of issues and concerns, here are some ways you can support individuals who identify with another sexuality.

1. Create an inclusive working environment

Simple changes like using inclusive language, creating safe spaces and challenging discrimination when it arises are just some ways you can achieve this. It’s also a great time to promote wellbeing initiatives in the workplace, such as your employee assistance programme (EAP). By signposting your EAP, you can give individuals in the workplace an avenue to receive qualified and confidential counselling support.

2. Educate yourself and the business

It’s important to learn more about the unique challenges LGBTQIA+ individuals face – particularly when it comes to being open about their sexuality in the workplace. It’s also a good time to educate yourself and others on the signs of poor mental health, such as:

• Isolation and withdrawal

• Not being their usual self

• Appearing tired and/or exhausted

• Not engaging with work or exhibiting poor performance

3. Be there to listen

If an individual has shown an interest in opening up about their sexuality, be there to listen without judgement. This is a time of vulnerability, and so sensitivity is more important than ever. Respond with empathy and understanding and let them know you’re always open for a confidential chat should they ever need it.

4. Get actively involved in LGBTQIA+ events

Many companies tick a box by changing their logo to rainbow colours or shouting about Pride once a year. But there are ways you can show real interest in the community that isn’t performative:

• Include pronouns in email signatures

• Degender uniforms

• Make your allyship visible all year round

• Encourage inclusive language at all times e.g. “Hello all” as opposed to “Hello boys and girls”

How an Employee Assistance Programme can help

In addition to dedicated LGBTQIA+ charities that are designed to specifically help individuals who identify in the community, it’s a good idea to seek professional support when your finding it difficult to work through your emotions and your mental health. An EAP is a great way to do this. At HA | Wisdom Wellbeing, we provide confidential, qualified counselling support through solution-focused, structured sessions. It’s available 24/7, 365 days a year, meaning you can access support at any time of day all year around. Plus, in the event that a trauma-related incident related to your sexuality has caused significant disruption to your mental health, our counsellors are able to refer you for other methods of therapy such as CISM, cCBT and much more.

Conclusion

Navigating your sexuality, as well as being open about it with other individuals is both brave and not an easy task. No matter your sexuality, you are deserving of kindness and acceptance. It’s important to seek professional advice if you find you are struggling with your sexuality and mental health, as a counsellor can help you work through difficult feelings and develop healthy coping strategies for when you need it.

Frequently asked questions about sexuality and mental health

What to say to someone who is struggling with their sexuality?

If someone has expressed concern about their sexuality, it’s important not to judge them. Instead, use this time to listen and give affirming statements. It can be useful to:

• Let them know there is no pressure to express everything they’re worried about if they aren’t comfortable doing so

• That they don’t owe anyone an explanation, and that they don’t need to ‘come out’ if they don’t feel like they want to

• Encourage them to speak to a professional, particularly one with a background in working with LGBTQIA+ clients

• Offer to address any bullying and discrimination with their consent, and give

What happens when you ignore your sexuality?

Ignoring your sexuality can cause internalised feelings to arise such as emotional distress, shame, guilt, even mental health concerns like depression and anxiety. Over time this can lead to chronic negative feelings, worsening mental health, isolation, as well as unhealthy ways of coping.