Depression: Supporting friends and family members

Depression is a debilitating mental health condition that can take over someone’s life in a profound way. Equally, having someone in your life with depression can be just as exhausting and painful, especially if this a close friend, partner, or family member. Witnessing the person you love struggle with a potentially destructive mental health condition is a taxing experience with many challenges in itself.

You may experience draining emotions that disrupt your daily routine significantly, such as weakness, frustration, helplessness, worry, anxiety, and anger. These are all normal feelings whilst coping with depression in a loved one, so it is important to be kind to yourself through this process.

According to the Office for National Statistics, 1 in 6 adults have depression in the UK and the condition is also related to stress, anxiety, loneliness, and burnout.

Whether it’s a partner, family member, or friend watching a loved one go through a traumatic mental health condition can often leave us feeling helpless and unsure of how to offer the best support.

Risks when supporting a loved one through depression

Supporting a friend or family member that is experiencing depression requires emotional resilience, patience, and understanding. Without appropriate support, both you and your loved one may experience a decline in mental health.

Emotional stress

Constantly supporting someone with depression may leave you feeling tired, drained, and burnt out. Coping with someone with depression can feel frustrating or that you are helpless, not knowing how to support them. This can weigh heavily on family members and friends, and risks impacting their own mental health.

Supporters may even suffer from compassion fatigue, similar to burnout, but stems from over exposure to someone’s emotional pain and suffering, leading to a gradual declining in their own mental health.

Neglecting personal self-care

Supporting someone with depression can be difficult and put a heavy strain on your own mental health. Supporters may often neglect their own mental wellbeing and increases the risk of declining and poor mental health. It takes time to overcome mental health conditions like depression, so overtime your own mind and mental wellbeing may come second.

Read our article Depression and Self-Care

Lack of understanding

Depression is a complex condition that often requires professional intervention to mitigate symptoms and provide appropriate treatment. Understanding depression is vital in supporting someone going through the condition. Knowledge and understanding allows supporters to empathise with their loved one, be able to relate to them, and know the difficulties they face. Without this, tensions may rise, and your loved one may not feel supported at all. In fact, without proper understanding they may not feel as if you take them seriously and could distance themselves.

Difficulty communication

Some people with depression find it difficult to communicate their thoughts and feelings, which can make supporting them harder. Lack of communication can lead to inability to understand their needs and widening the gap between yourself and your loved one.

How to support someone who is coping with a friend or family member with depression

1. Use resources Using reliable and useful resources provides supporters with a better understanding of depression, allowing them to understand and relate to their loved one better. You may even find information that you can give to your loved one to help them.

Look at mental health support, such as helplines and counselling services, such as Samaritans, if you feel as though your mental health is declining.

1. Understand depression Understanding depression, its impacts, and the best way to mitigate symptoms is a critical part in helping a loved one navigate depression. Read and learn as much as you can to help them in overcoming the mental health condition, such as typical symptoms, best strategies to alleviate those symptoms, and understanding how it affects your person.

Better knowledge of depression will also help you in understanding why your loved one feels the way they do, easing feelings of anger and confusion. Your loved one will feel less alone if you have a better understanding of depression.

1. Communicate openly People with depression may find it difficult to express their feelings and emotions. Establishing honest and open communication between the two of you is essential. It allows your loved one to be open and honest about their experience and reinforces trust within your relationship. Remember to never push them if they don’t want to talk.

2. Encourage talking to a professional Speaking to train counsellors can be extremely beneficial in coping with depression and it’s symptoms, but it can also help family and friends who are supporting. Counsellors offer different opinions and perspectives as well as providing clinical advice on how to cope with someone who is going through depression and their specific needs.

3. Monitor your own mental health Being mindful of your own mental wellbeing is essential. It’s very difficult to support someone with a mental health challenge if you are not looking after your own mental health. Take the time to do things you love and that give you a boost, and always prioritize self-care.